I couldn’t work. Couldn’t pay enough attention to watch TV. Couldn’t write fiction. It was then I started thinking about suicide. You start asking questions. Just how bad am I willing to let it get before I say fuck it? What will living as a cripple cost my family vs living without me? Will my wife love me?I started drawing criteria. One is the ability to read. Reading makes life bearable. Aphasia hadn’t touched my ability to read even though it can so that was a positive. I even considered other modes of reading like learning braille. I didn’t know if Aphasia could interfere with that but I’ll do anything to read. At that time, I needed a lot of minimal help so if my wife had left me right then I would have been screwed. So I made homeless a criteria -I.e. no caretaker then I had two larger problems - Pain and Hyper-Aggression.Prior to the Night of Hell, I had headaches once or twice a year. Now, I continually suffer from some sort of migraine discomfort. By continually I literally. Both of the men looked much younger than the faces that Matti remembered from early June, and when he examined the picture closely he discovered the month and year in small print at the top of the photo. It was just over 11 years old.Matti began turning the pages slowly, not recognizing anyone in the second one, but on another he saw a good photo of a man with the name Jiggs stitched on the right side of his vest. He would have to be the third member of the small group who had decided to rip off the drug purchase, Matti thought. As he leafed through the pages of the mini photo album, Matti found some more pictures of the three of them, as well as at least a half-dozen more members of the Wolverines. One that held his gaze for much longer than some of the others had both Dog Fontaine and another vest wearing Wolverine that Matti recognized. He was a grinning, bearded man wearing an eye-patch over his left eye, and he had the nickname Popeye on his vest. Standing between the two bikers.
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